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THE TRUE DRUG STORIES OF JIM SIMPSON #2: Dextromethorphan

In News, Plays, Schedule on September 25, 2012 at 2:37 PM

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The following text was performed at The Flea Theater, September 20-22, as part of Serials, an episodic late night theatre event where the top three (of five) serialized stage plays return the following week. Episode Three: Mushrooms will play September 27-29 @ The Flea.

Mind the / for overlaps.

Whenever the actors are not on stage, they sit in chairs just offstage.

Whenever actor playing Bill Murray sits offstage, he reads The Hobbit.

The actress playing Almost Inaudible Voice never gets up from the chair and speaks all her lines into a microphone, faced away from the audience.

In darkness:

PRE-RECORDED VOICEOVER

(with American accent) Mesdames et Messieurs, au début de 2003, Marché aux puces, directeur artistique Jim Simpson a fait une série d’entretiens avec NPR à propos de ses expériences largement relatés avec des narcotiques dans ses premiers jours. Ce qui suit est une reproduction d’un de ces entretiens. (with French accent) Ladies and gentlemen, in early 2003, Flea Artistic Director Jim Simpson did a series of interviews with NPR about his widely chronicled experiments with narcotics in his early days. The following is a recreation of one of those interviews.

Lights.

Jim Simpson sitting on a couch playing a video game.

Bill Murray sits to one side.

BILL

They have us on stage the whole time.

JIM

Such as?

BILL

All the actors instead of going offstage sit in chairs to the side of the stage.

JIM

How’s that for ya?

BILL

Meh. I’m halfway through The Hobbit.

SIG

Jim Oh hey Bill.

BILL

Siggy.

SIG

No.

BILL

Sigurd.

SIG

Not that either.

JIM

She doesn’t / like nicknames.

SIG

I don’t like nicknames you jackass.

BILL

(acting a lot like Bill Murray from Ghostbusters) Oh but baby my feelings ­—

SIG

(stopping Bill’s face with a palm) Jim are you coming to bed?

JIM

After this level.

SIG

You’ve got work tomorrow.

JIM

Carol said she’d cover.

SIG

(leaving) Night Bill.

BILL

Sigmund.

JIM

So you got a matinee tomorrow?

BILL

Hey look at my hand?

JIM

What is it?

BILL

Dextromethorphan.

JIM

And what’s that?

BILL

It’s the active ingredient in cough syrup crushed into pill form.

JIM

What’s it do?

A shift.

SIG

Huh?

JIM

What?

SIG

You asked me What does it do?

JIM

What does what do?

SIG

I made you a hot water bottle for your pillow.

JIM

You are such a nice lady.

SIG

Where’s Bill?

JIM

Can I touch your arms?

SIG

Hmn?

JIM

Just really quickly I want to touch your arms.

A shift.

DELIVERY GIRL

Sir?

JIM

Yeah?

DELIVERY GIRL

You may not touch my arms.

JIM

Oh.

DELIVERY GIRL

Eighteen fifty two.

JIM

The … year?

DELIVERY GIRL

Like the price of a single delivery of phad kee mao with five sides of sticky rice.

JIM

You’re really pretty.

DELIVERY GIRL

Oh man.

JIM

I really like your costume.

DELIVERY GIRL

Yeah these are just my clothes.

JIM

So what happens now?

DELIVERY GIRL

You give me twenty dollars.

JIM

It appears my hand is already doing that.

A shift.

BILL

Is that my rice?

JIM

Bill when did you get back to the inside parts of the house.

BILL

I have been hiding in the shower the entire time.

JIM

Bill I feel really good but also at the same time sort of like it’s always going to be like this.

BILL

It’s always going to be like this.

JIM

Watch me pick up this table. (he does.) I am carrying a seventy-five pound oak table over my head.

BILL

We live in really great age.

JIM

I’m really glad I’m alive and like a human being, you know?

BILL

If we try really hard we can make the phone ring.

They turn to the phone and stare at it.

Jim continues to hold the table in the exact same position over his head.

A really long time passes.

Longer than you think.

Then a little longer.

Sigourney walks in and picks up the phone.

JIM

no / GOD –

BILL

No NO!

JIM

Fuck, oh fuck.

BILL

Why did you do that?

SIG

(already talking on other line as she exits) No hi Meryl … Yeah can you help me with this song? … No I’m on cordless.

BILL

I have an idea.

JIM

We are suddenly at a fence.

BILL

Look at this view.

JIM

We are suddenly at the top of an unconstructed condo.

BILL

Fuck I think I cut my hand on that glass.

JIM

And now we are back at home.

BILL

Let’s make some rice.

JIM

I think I should probably sit down for a moment.

ALMOST INAUDIBLE VOICE

hey

JIM

Hh … hey.

ALMOST INAUDIBLE VOICE

hi.

JIM

Hi.

ALMOST INAUDIBLE VOICE

Hey.

JIM

Yeah uh, “hey.”

ALMOST INAUDIBLE VOICE

hi.

JIM

Okay.

ALMOST INAUDIBLE VOICE

do you know where i am?

JIM

Nuh – no.

ALMOST INAUDIBLE VOICE

Look in your stomaaach.

JIM

Uh – kay?

ALMOST INAUDIBLE VOICE

Look in your stomaaach.

BILL

The rice is done.

JIM

What time is it?

BILL

I think it’s like I’m not wearing a watch but I think it’s like midnight?

JIM

It’s eleven thirty in the morning.

BILL

Want a bowl?

JIM

(calm) Your hand’s really bleeding all over the fuckin place.

BILL

(calm) Yeah …

SIG

Morning Bill.

BILL

Here’s a coffee.

SIG

Where’d you get this?

BILL

(truthfully) I don’t know.

SIG

Wanna hear my song?

JIM

Your song?

SIG

A song for my audition today that I was practicing all night instead of lying down next to you, my breath hot on your neck.

BILL

I should really head to my matinee.

SIG

Goodbye Bill.

BILL

(leaving) Sigfried.

JIM

I’m sorry.

SIG

Shut up.

JIM

Shut up.

SIG

Sit.

JIM

Sitting.

SIG

Song.

JIM

Song.

If Bill or someone else can accompany with live guitar, great; otherwise a capella. She ends the song on his lap.

SIG:

Flying
I’m flying
Hitting heavens high
I’m head on brake too low

Floating
I’m floating
Hanging below the sea
I’m telling you look at me

Ecstasy
I’m in ecstasy

Singing
I’m singing
Sounding hanging breathe
I’m begging you look at me

Ecstasy
I’m in ecstasy

SIG

So?

JIM

Marry me.

SIG

What?

 

 

Lights.

The above text was originally directed by Stella Powell-Jones and featured:

Jim Simpson – Grant Harrison

Sigourney Weaver – Jenelle Chu

Bill Murray – Ivano Pulito

Delivery Girl – Teddi Millan

Almost Inaudible Voice – Glenna Grant

 

 

 

 

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